Preparing For An Incredibly Unflattering Season

If Vogue's perennially reliable trend forecasts are anything to go by, for Spring/Summer 2011, the fashion faux-pas is in favour. Never have I seen a season where so many difficult, dangerous and frankly unappealing looks are en vogue. From tangerine being branded the shade du jour to the stump-creating, mid-calf length as the most important hem line, those of us not blessed with amazonian limbs and a year round golden-glow are not going to be so fortunate next season. Throw in a whole host of other neon colours and the assertion that to have hair 'current' enough for Spring/Summer we have to "cut it off" and it's enough to make me want to hibernate in a comfortable state autumn/winter monochrome uniformity forever.

However, with the early seventies declared as the era of inspiration, here's hoping we can expect some more wearable, appealing and frankly more flattering fashion essentials. Indeed, if the loose and chic tunics (notably at Marc Jacobs and Prada) are anything to go by, the fickle fashion world, may provide us with some floaty, forgiving pieces of our new season wardrobes. The recognition of the huge amount of white scattered liberally across the collections also bodes well; I would be over the moon if the stunning, edgy yet ethereal, pure yet provocative creations at D&G and Givenchy were to be replicated accurately on the high street.

Nonetheless, It seems to me a little oxymoronic to claim that this was a triumph for "women dressing women" (citing Stella, Phoebe Philo and Hannah MacGibbon as examples). Really, what woman looks and feels her best in an mid calf-length, tangerine smock, with her hair chopped to a mussed-up crop? Oh and don't forget the accents of neon.

The above immediately connotates a rather vibrant bag lady or an escaped mental patient andI don't see this as an unreasonable assertion on the part of my subconscious. None too promising thus far, if it were possible to have selected pretty much my least favourite aspects of all the collections, this trend report would have been it.

Vogue, don't let me down and fashion don't fail me now!